A widow has shared the heartbreaking moment her gym partner husband took his last breath after a gruelling battle with cancer.
Janelle Brunton-Rennie’s partner, Kurt, 41, from New Zealand, was buried in his wedding outfit in January, leaving behind a baby daughter, called Sage.
Janelle has now shared her feelings during Kurt’s final moments in a string of Instagram posts, which she hopes will inspire others to live their lives to the fullest.
Writing about her husband’s last breath, she said: “Kurt’s breathing seems to get a little less painful sounding all of a sudden… I’m so relieved, then it stops…. the longest 10 seconds of my life, oh God, breathe, breathe damnit…
“Waiting for that next breath… waiting, holding my own, waiting… holding myself back from jumping up to commence CPR… breathe baby… breathe…. breathe.
“I’m torn in half, I have to let him go, I know that escaping his body and leaving this suffering behind him is what’s best for Kurt. I have my left hand on his chest. My right hand holding his. I feel his heart stop. My head falls to his chest.”
Janelle, 36, told her social media followers that she put all of her focus and energy into organising Kurt’s funeral, after his death.
On the day of the ceremony, she said she felt Kurt’s presence behind her as she looked at him in his casket.
The widow wrote: “I realised that on that hour, exactly four years prior, I was standing before him, admiring him in exactly the same clothing as we exchanged our vows.
“As the realisation hits me, I’m overwhelmed, and I feel him walk up behind me and put his big reassuring arms around me – there was no mistaking it.”
Kurt was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma in early 2018 and after an unsuccessful bout of chemotherapy underwent groundbreaking immunotherapy treatment in Boston, US.
However, after three months, it became apparent that this was also not working and he was flown back to New Zealand to be with his 15-month-old daughter and other relatives.
Describing Kurt’s condition when he returned, Janelle said: “Kurt’s abdomen now feels like it’s full of large rocks. So many large and hyper-fast growing tumours.
“Doctors insert an abdomen drain. I think I accept it now. I’ve accepted our defeat. I think Kurt has too, I can feel a shift in his energy.
“The palliative care team visit, I talk to them outside, they ask me if he knows he’s dying. I say yes, we both know, but I still ask them to introduce themselves to Kurt without using the word palliative.”
Janelle said she was initially keen to leave the memories of Kurt’s final moments in the past, however she has now decided to use her experiences to inspire others to make the most of their lives.
To see Janelle’s Instagram page click here.