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Victoria Beckham has never been more herself than she is today.
In Netflix’s new documentary, titled “Victoria Beckham,” the former Spice Girl reflects on her journey from global pop star to a powerhouse fashion designer, all while confronting the personal challenges that have shaped her into who she is today.
The mom-of-four, who found fame as Posh Spice with the Spice Girls in the late 1990s, pulled back the curtain on one of the toughest obstacles to date: her eating disorder.
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Victoria Beckham said she “lost all sense of reality” while struggling with an eating disorder. (CHRIS ARJOON/AFP via Getty Images; Dave Hogan/Getty Images)
“People felt it was okay to criticize a woman for her weight, for what she’s doing, for what she’s wearing,” her husband of 26 years, David Beckham, said in the documentary. “There were a lot of things happening in TV then that won’t happen now. That can’t happen now.”
“My Victoria that I knew, sits at home in a tracksuit, smiling, laughing, having a glass of wine. That started to go purely because of the criticism that she was getting,” he added.
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While recalling a 1999 incident in which a TV host asked her to step on a scale on live television to confirm her weight was “back to normal” six months after giving birth to her first child, Victoria admitted the whole ordeal affected her deeply.
“I was weighed on national television when Brooklyn was six months old,” she said in the documentary. “Get on those scales on television. Have you lost weight? And we laugh about it, and we joke about it when we’re on television, but I was really, really young and that hurt.”
The mom-of-four, who found fame as Posh Spice with the Spice Girls in the late 1990s, pulled back the curtain on one of the toughest obstacles to date: her eating disorder. (Getty Images)
During the live television segment in question, “Don’t Forget Your Toothbrush,” host Chris Evans said, “A lot of girls want to know, because you look fantastic again. How did you get back to your shape after birth?”
After Victoria detailed her exercise regime, Evans asked Victoria, “Is your weight back to normal? Can I check? Do you mind?”
That experience alone left Victoria feeling as if she wasn’t enough.
“I’ve been everything from Porky Posh to Skinny Posh. I mean, it’s been a lot. And that’s hard. I had no control over what was being written about me… but I could control my weight, and I was controlling it in an incredibly unhealthy way.”
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“I really started to doubt myself and not like myself,” she said in the doc. “And because I let it affect me, I didn’t know what I saw when I looked in the mirror. You lose all sense of reality. I’m just very critical of myself. I didn’t like what I saw.”
Victoria recalled being asked to step on a scale during a live television segment just six months after her son Brooklyn was born. (Getty Images)
“I’ve been everything from Porky Posh to Skinny Posh,” she continued. “I mean, it’s been a lot. And that’s hard. I had no control over what was being written about me, pictures that were being taken. And I suppose I wanted to control that. I could control it with the clothing and I could control my weight, and I was controlling it in an incredibly unhealthy way.”
“When you have an eating disorder, you become very good at lying,” she added. “And I was never honest about it with my parents. I never talked about it publicly. It really affects you when you are being told constantly you’re not good enough. And I suppose that’s been with me my whole life.”
Victoria — who, throughout the three-part documentary gave viewers a behind-the-scenes look at what it takes to prepare for a show at Paris Fashion Week — also reflected on her professional journey and the obstacles she faced as she built her clothing and beauty lines.
“When you have an eating disorder, you become very good at lying. And I was never honest about it with my parents. I never talked about it publicly. It really affects you when you are being told constantly you’re not good enough.”
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At one point, the businesswoman broke down in tears to David as they discussed her reasoning behind all that she does.
“But who are you trying to prove this to?” David asked.
David and Victoria Beckham have been married for 26 years and share four children together. (Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)
“Maybe a lot of it to you,” said Victoria, who admittedly accepted financial aid from David while establishing her brand in the early years. “I feel bad about all that times when I had to ask you to help me out.”
“You don’t have to prove it to me ever,” he said, to which Victoria responded, “No, but I want to, myself. I want to. When I saw your face and the kids’ faces backstage after the last show, it was not the first time, but it was a real moment for me where I could see how proud of me you were. I’ve still got so much that I want to do.”
“I think you’re trying to prove it to yourself,” said David. “Not to me. Maybe you’re so stubborn in the fact that you are trying to prove everybody wrong.”
“Yeah, success. It feels good. I’m not going to lie,” she said. “I am proud, and I’m not ashamed to say that I’m ambitious, and I’ve still got a lot that I want to do.”
The duo have supported each other through and through. (WWD)
“So you’re not stopping yet?” David asked.
“I’m not stopping yet,” she quipped.
While Victoria shared personal parts of her life, including life at home with David and their children Romeo, 23, Cruz, 20, and Harper, 14, one person was noticeably missing.
The couple’s eldest son, Brooklyn, did not make an appearance in the documentary, despite the Beckhams previously denying rumored tensions between them and Brooklyn and his wife Nicola Peltz.
“There are tensions between Brooklyn and Nicola and the family,” a source told People. “The relationship is definitely not beyond repair. They love and are always there for him. They’re just hurt and disappointed that he’s now playing no part in family life.”
David and Victoria Beckham were noticeably absent at their son Brooklyn and daughter-in-law Nicola Peltz Beckham’s wedding vow renewal ceremony. (Finnbarr Webster/Getty Images; Steve Granitz/Getty Images)
In a recent interview with Elle, Victoria gushed about how her family will always support one another.
“That’s what we do. We all support each other. We always show up for each other,” she told the outlet. “After my last [fashion] show, I remember so vividly the kids and David coming backstage. I had just come off of my exit. And the looks on their faces when they approached me—it was a real pinch-me moment, because I saw how proud they were.”
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She continued, “It’s healthy that the children know Daddy goes to work and Mommy goes to work. Working makes me the best version of me.”