Home Health Two grandmothers on the 'emotional toll' of osteoporosis and missing out on...

Two grandmothers on the 'emotional toll' of osteoporosis and missing out on hugs


When most people picture becoming a grandmother they imagine lots of hugs and cuddles, and playing with their young loved ones.

But for osteoporosis sufferers it can be fraught with risks too, as even the smallest tumble in a park can lead to life-changing injuries.

As half of women over the age of 50 now have osteoporosis, thousands across the UK are living with the anxiety and guilt this brings.

Lucy Wilkins, 63, from Cornwall, has two grandsons aged nine and four. She was diagnosed between the two births, and saw a difference in how much she could help her ­daughter with her second.

“Our family don’t live near us so when the first grandson was born they came down to visit with the new baby, and it was all lovely because I could cuddle him and hold him.”

Lucy said she would get up early with her daughter to help out.

“But when the second grandson arrived I was in plaster with my first break. I couldn’t hold him. I held him once on my right arm, which is not my natural arm.

“I certainly couldn’t relieve mum to go back to bed and have a rest. It just made me feel quite pathetic.

“Now they’re kind of past the picking up stage, and I can cuddle but where they live there is a lovely nature reserve, which is very marshy and I try to walk with them, but it is in the back of my mind and I can’t run with them. I often say ‘Oh, don’t forget, Nanny’s got silly bones’.”

Lynne Marples, 72, from Derbyshire, has five grandchildren between the ages of seven and 14. 

She said: “I couldn’t lift up my grandchildren, and looking after them can be very tiring and sometimes painful because of the amount of bending and twisting involved.

“The first thing they do is run for you to give them a big hug and pick them up but that was the first no-no. 

“They had to be told ‘Grandma’s not got a very good back, so she can’t pick you up any more’. So that was quite hard.

“It is heartbreaking when they’re so used to you picking them up and if they hurt themselves you normally pick them up and cuddle them. But I couldn’t do that either.

“It’s amazing how many activities there are with children that involve sitting down, getting things up, leaning over. So spending time with them can wear me out. It is very upsetting.”

The Sunday Express Better Bones For Life campaign hopes to raise awareness of this silent disease and encourage 100,000 people to use the Royal Osteoporosis Society’s risk checker to check their likelihood of getting it. Some 3.5 million people in the UK are estimated to have osteoporosis and it causes 500,000 broken bones every year, costing over £4.5billion.

Kirsty Carne, senior osteoporosis specialist nurse at the ROS, said: “We often hear from grandparents who have osteoporosis and have had a fracture.

“They worry about how this affects their potential role as a child carer because many are doing this regularly to help their children. They feel they let people down and might be missing out on the strength of bond and relationship they had with the child before.”

To access the risk checker, visit: theros.org.uk/risk-checker. You can donate to the ROS at theros.org.uk/donation/

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