IF you’re not feeling fulfilled in your sexual encounters, a simple step can help.
A sex expert has revealed the best way to elevate your time in bed, and it’s a universal solution.
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Speaking on the podcast Begin Again with Davina McCall, Cindy Gallop, the founder and CEO of MakeLoveNotPorn, shared her best advice on how to improve your sex life.
And her tips don’t involve studying the Kama Sutra or role-playing to spice things up.
Instead, she recommends viewing sex for what it is, a real life experience and not a performance.
Cindy explained that she has set out to create a “social revolution around sex”.
“If porn is the performative Hollywood blockbuster movie, we are the badly needed documentary,” she said as she described her company.
The entrepreneur said that her site helps to provide a “unique window into how we all make love in the real world”.
It does this by featuring real people having real encounters and not putting on a show.
Designed to create an open dialogue and comfortable approach to intimacy, MakeLoveNotPorn even has parents buying their teens subscriptions to “see what real relationships look like” in the bedroom.
This allows them to develop an understanding of what sex should actually be like.
And it is this identifying of core values that Cindy says is essential to good sex.
“Everything in life starts with you and your values,” she told podcast listeners.
She pointed out that we are taught about what our values should be in most areas of life but never sexually.
“No body ever brings us up to behave well in bed,” Cindy said before outlining the core life values which should also be prioritised during intimacy.
She encouraged listeners to practice empathy, sensitivity, generosity, kindness, honesty, trust, and respect during sex.
“We should make it as easy to talk openly and honestly about ourselves sexually as we do with other things we’re into or not into,” she explained.
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Giving the example of trying new cuisines and sharing our thoughts, Cindy pointed out this approach should be taken to sex too.
She described society’s “outdated” views on sex as the “universal error of human experience we’re all most involved with and most engaged with, we’re most fascinated by and the most f**ked up about.”
According to Cindy, the stigma surrounding sex “means you may never find out what your really enjoy”.
“Everyone should feel free to explore as they wish,” the sex positive pro said.
She explained how her site’s mission is to make people “more connected and more in love than ever before”.
“I’ve had great sex that’s a transcendental experience and I want everybody to have that experience and not everyone does,” Cindy said.
She added that taking steps to talk openly about everything from masturbation to the language we use around sex can help with this.
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