SEX education expert Lynnette Smith is offering parents help with teaching the birds and the bees – and says they need to be on board with the lessons.
It follows a backlash over the graphic material kids are receiving as part of the Scottish curriculum, including X-rated cartoons depicting intimate acts.
4
4
4
Last month a mother told how her daughter was left anxious and stressed by pictures of a naked man during class, with no direct advance warning given to parents.
Lynnette, a specialist relationship and sex education trainer and founder of website BigTalk Education, said: “Any resources a school is using must be run by parents because otherwise it can cause a big rift.
“It should be a joint effort. In the days when we had youth workers, they were another valuable source for teenagers to bounce off ideas about relationships.
“Now parents have a really good role to play. In a lot of places sex education is sadly lacking, so if you’ve never had good sex education yourself, it’s very difficult to talk to children about that. It can be seen as very negative.
“In much the same way that teenagers don’t like to think about their parents having sex, parents don’t like to think about their kids growing up and having sex.
“It’s important to normalise as if they come across inappropriate things online they need to be able to discuss them with their parents.”
We revealed recently how mum Emma Cormie was shocked to learn about the material her primary five daughter was learning at school in Elgin.
There were cartoons with graphic descriptions of orgasm and arousal and illustrations of naked couples in bed alongside explanations of how women should enjoy a “pleasurable” feeling. Emma’s daughter was so traumatised that she didn’t want to attend school the next day.
Even so, the Scottish Government defended the curriculum — used in nurseries and primary and secondary schools — saying it covers physical changes, sexual health and sexuality, parents’ roles and relationships.
Lynnette disagrees with kids learning so many details about sex so young and thinks lessons should start more tamely.
She said: “People are so ready to moan about sex education but it’s about relationship education, and sex education comes later.
“I’ve been taken aback by some of the images and wording and can understand why mums would not be happy.
“It’s not our place to go into all sorts of details about orgasm. In secondary school we talk about it as the height of sexual excitement when a couple is making love.
“It may sound bland but it’s accurate. I don’t think parents of primary school children want them learning about adult sexuality.
“What we describe in later years of primary school is reproductive education, we don’t call it sex education.
“At nursery age we explain the difference between boys and girls and that’s fundamental in them having the language to keep safe.”
TOP TIPS FOR KIDS
THE expert’s top six tips for teaching kids:
FROM the beginning refer to parts of their bodies by the correct
terms – information is power, plus paedophiles will avoid educated
children who know to speak out.
ENSURE they know the four parts of their body no one should touch
unless they want them to: genital area, bottom, chest and mouth.
REASSURE them they can come to you if ANYONE touches them or asks them to keep a secret.
LET children know what your family values are or their school’s ethos regarding relationships and the way we treat others.
AS a parent keep the channels of communication going, be interested – who are their friends at school? Who are their friends online? Make time to talk.
WISE up. If you’re not feeling too confident choose a book for younger ones, such as Bodies, Babies And Bellybuttons.
Lynnette works with 40,000 children a year in England and now hopes to be invited to offer her expertise in Scotland, as she believes sex education is also key to preventing abuse.
She added: “There are two sides which are perpetually our problem in sex education.
“Yes, let kids have the innocence of childhood. But nothing takes away innocence quicker than abuse, so we need to protect children.
“It’s all about starting early and children knowing what’s OK but not banging on about sex education, because as adults we have certain connotations about sex and we tend to think about it in an adult way.
“It should start out very simple when they’re younger about staying safe, as one in three sexual offences is child-on-child.
“It’s also about how to identify toxic relationships and whether you’re in one.
“It’s such a shame but so vital. It’s a much bigger curriculum than many people even consider.”
4
