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After a year marked by multiple surgeries, chronic pain and moments when she questioned whether she could keep going, Kathie Lee Gifford says she’s finally getting her life back.
The TV veteran is opening up about the “debilitating” health battle that once left her praying to “go home.”
“I wanted to die a few times,” Gifford told People. “I wasn’t going to hurt myself. I wasn’t going to kill myself. I just didn’t want to be here — as blessed as I am.”
Gifford also revealed that her pain was initially attributed to the wrong condition, saying she spent nearly a year being treated for a spinal issue before doctors discovered the real source of her discomfort.
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Kathie Lee Gifford says chronic pain left her praying to “go home to Jesus” after multiple surgeries, a fractured hip, and broken bones took their toll. (Jason Kempin/Getty Images)
“Thank God, I finally had the hip surgery. I had been misdiagnosed. And for a year they kept trying to treat my spine. And I said, ‘I have no pain in my spine. It’s in my hip. I don’t know how you missed that on an X-ray.'”
The former “Today” host said the extent of the damage became clear only after her operation.
“The doctor, wonderful doctor here in Tennessee, in my post-op, the next day, he said, ‘Kathie, how were you existing? How were you existing with the most excruciating pain?’ He said, ‘That’s one of the worst hips I’ve ever seen. In fact, you didn’t have one’ … he said all it was was ashes, arthritic ash and little, teeny bone spurs.’”
Gifford said she was initially misdiagnosed with a spinal issue. (Michael Tullberg/Getty Images)
The 72-year-old opened up about her difficult recovery, revealing how one medical setback quickly snowballed.
“I feel like Mr. Potato Head! One thing falls off and then another,” she said.
What began with a total hip replacement turned into an even longer recovery after Gifford fractured her hip and required another surgery.
She later broke her arm after rolling onto it while sleeping, suffered another broken bone after a fall on uneven pavement and eventually underwent cataract surgery after noticing problems with her depth perception.
Even as her body struggled, Gifford noted her sense of humor never disappeared.
“I’m a tough broad,” she said.
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Gifford said that her pain affected how much she was able to tend to her grandchildren. (Getty Images)
The physical pain, however, dramatically changed her day-to-day life, preventing her from playing with her five young grandchildren and making her reluctant to appear in public.
“I couldn’t carry them, I couldn’t love on them, I couldn’t run and play with them,” she said. “All I could do was sit there and sing and write silly songs with them.”
The emotional burden of living with constant pain became overwhelming, Gifford admitted.
“I’ve had emotional pain many times in my life, but never this chronic physical pain where you literally want to go home to Jesus.”
Gifford explained the experience reminded her of conversations with her late husband, Frank Gifford, who often worried about meeting fans’ expectations as his health declined.
Frank Gifford and Kathie Lee Gifford attend the Literacy Partners Evening of Readings Gala at David H. Koch Theater in New York City on May 10, 2010. (Patrick McMullan/Patrick McMullan)
“I remember Frank saying to me before he passed, ‘When I go somewhere, I know what people are expecting from me. I want to be Frank Gifford when I go out,'” she recalled.
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“I want to be Kathie Lee, the person they expect,” she explained. “I don’t want to disappoint people. But when you’re in pain, it’s so debilitating, and everything’s a grimace. I’ve had emotional pain many times in my life, but never this chronic physical pain where you literally want to go home to Jesus.
At her lowest point, Gifford said she repeatedly prayed, “Lord, if this is all you have left for me, I want to go home.”
Now, after multiple surgeries, stem cell therapy and physical therapy six days a week, Gifford says she’s finally reclaiming her life.
Kathie Lee Gifford stands with Cody Gifford and Cassidy Gifford at the Gracie Awards in 2016. (Michael Buckner/Variety)
She now runs “all over the place” with her grandchildren — a milestone she once feared might never come again.
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“They’re all fantastic,” she said. “I’m hoping, Lord willing, that I have many, many years with them.”
The television personality has embraced a busy new chapter as a grandmother, welcoming five grandchildren in just three years: Cody’s children, Frank, 4; Ford, 2; and Faith, 10 months; as well as Cassidy’s children, Finn, 3, and Rosie, 13 months.