“I know it’s wrong but I hate my daughter,” Monica confessed to Reddit. “Everyone told me how wonderful and fulfilling being a mother would be… but [it’s] not.”
Married to her partner, Alfie*, Monica has seen how he’s become a doting father to their daughter, even though he too was young when they had the baby.
“From day one he loved her,” Monica shared, who didn’t feel the same sentiment.
“The crying, constant neediness, the disgusting nature of babies was repulsive to me when I had to deal with it,” Monica revealed.
“And I had my husband helping, I don’t know how anyone could do it themselves.”
Monica said she’s tried “so hard” to be a good mother, but she feels as though she “just can’t”.
“She’s four and I still just hate her,” Monica admitted. “She’s always the priority and just still constantly needs us.”
Monica hates the fact her and Alfie “don’t get free time”, are unable to “just have fun”.
“Sometimes just hearing her voice frustrates me,” Monica said. “Everyone thinks I’m some great mum, and our daughter just loves me so much while I despise her.”
Monica divulged: “At best I’m just going through the motions lying about how I feel.”
Having attempted therapy to sort out her feelings of anguish, Monica decided “it just didn’t help”.
“All the stupid ideas from that therapist did nothing,” Monica insisted. “It made my daughter like me more, but I still can’t stand being around her.”
Monica said: “I don’t get why she needs to always be touching us and I just want some time where I’m not working or dealing with her or her messes.
“She’s not even a bad kid, she’s smart and tries to be kind and obedient and everything but no matter what she does I feel this way.
“I know it’s not fair, but when she mucks up I almost feel relief because it feels like a reason. I know it’s not her fault I know but I just hate her.”
Monica said her feelings are growing in intensity and she’s “struggling to keep the facade up” of being a loving mum.
“How is everyone able to deal with children? How can you get over the noise and clinginess and mess and disgust? Why can’t I care?” she pleaded.
*Names have been changed.
